If it aint broke . . .

Whats been on my mind lately you ask? Well a little bit of everything, but I guess weight loss has been at the top of the list these last few days. Argh. I really dont want to turn this blog into my weight loss journal but decided that bringing it up every now and again is okay since this is my blog, my life.

Forever and ever I have always felt like the big girl. I'm the largest of my siblings. I was the largest in my circle of friends in high school and in college. Heck, Im bigger than my hubby (but Im also taller so somethings gotta give there). Ive been really big and not so big and everything in between. I have pants in my closet that are size 6 and size 18 and at one point in time I fit into each one. Up and down. Back and forth. I struggle with it.

Im workin on shedding some extra pounds. Its tough. I LOVE food. LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I want more please. That tastes good. It smells good. I enjoy making it, baking it and taking it! Food? Yes please, sign me up.

I crush my feelings with food. Its always there waiting for me with open arms, filling some "void". I say "void" because most of the time its not really a void. I eat, eat, eat and then I feel guilty. I feel guilty and then I eat. Its the circle of my life.

Today I will do my best to not assign feelings of guilt with food.

Whats your point? you say. Well here it is...

I am going to stop trying to fix myself.

I am me. This is what it is. I will do things that uplift ME. I will set goals to make ME a better ME. I have all the tools and I will choose to use them.

What does all this have to do with weight loss?

I just want to be happy where Im at for that day. Today is now and tomorrow is later and yesterday is gone. Live in the now. I dont want to use the past as an excuse anymore. I dont want to dream so far into the future that I cant see whats in front of me right now. And whats in front of me right now is beautiful and healthy and doesnt need fixing.

What would your life be like if you tried to stop fixing yourself? I dont know, but Im sure gonna try!

Wax On, Wax Off

Monday. Monday. Monday.

This lovely day has such a bad wrap. I don't necessarily hate Mondays. They can be good I guess. A fresh, new week, brimming with possibilities for the days ahead. Who am I kidding? Mondays are well, Mondays.

We had a fun filled past few days. Gma and Gpa K came out for a visit! They brought Little G some fun new car toys that he loves. He hasn't quite figured out how they work but he enjoys watching everyone else play with them. We went out for Bandana's BBQ one night and had a great time. Its always a crap shoot when you take a toddler to a restaurant but Little G did great and the food was good. You know that you have been to a restaurant too many times when your waiter recognizes you. Hey, when you find good BBQ you cant NOT go.

Danger Patrol Alert. Your house is never completely baby proofed, case and point:

This is what my favorite quilt normally looks like.


This is what my favorite quilt looks like after Little G pulls it off the table with a burning candle on top of it.

Yup. Well nobody got hurt. Which is a huge surprise considering the incident involved flames, hot wax, broken glass, and falling objects. For that, I'm grateful. And even after I get all the wax off (I'm hoping at least) the quilt will always smell good. Yup. Sad.

I got the binding finished on my happy quilt. Ditto tested it out for me. Apparently it passes his test. That's good enough for me!

We almost had our first emergency room trip while Gma and Gpa were here. Little G took a face first digger into the coffee table. Yeah. Boys. They are so delicate and quiet and slow moving. Ahem. Lets try that again. Boys. They are so tough and loud and running and spinning and spitting and crashing and smelly and funny and destructive and most importantly - resilient. At least Little G and I will have matching eyebrow scars now.

I got a letter from Connor today. Its was fun to hear from him. He sounds happy and busy. I write him a letter on Monday mornings. I miss him.

My project 365 has been kickin my butt lately. I barely can snap a photo or two some days. Those days there is no thought behind the photo. Some days it feels like a stupid homework assignment. But once I take a photo for today I will have 46 days! I want to grab a book on composition or find like an assignment sheet with some guidance. Maybe that would get me out of my funk. This is hard. It will be worth it though!

So here I am. I thought it would be nice to have the house to myself after my parade of house guests over the past few weeks but its kinda sad. I would say its quiet, but I don't think my house will ever be quiet again. I enjoyed wearing sweatpants all day and not showering. Its nice when the pressure is off. So come on over, I smell and the house is dirty. Ahhh just like I like it!

Hodge Podge

Well there's not much to report here. Its been sorta boring in my neck of the woods.

My BIL Mike stopped by for the weekend. We went out for BBQ on Saturday and I made the yummiest pizza and garlic cheesy sticks to date on Sunday. We spent the majority of the time just hangin' out around the house and catching up with one another (the constant down pour outside made this decision pretty easy!)

I finished up the painting on the main floor and everything got a good cleaning and was put back in its place. I'm so glad I did the painting. It was a major pain in the bum, but totally worth it. I'm pondering painting the master bedroom next. I'm just in the color debate/dreaming stage right now. Ill wait until I get another wave of paint insanity inspiration. The pro painter will get here midweek to do the stairwell. All is well in the land of paint.

I'm have been working like a mad lady on all the work quilting. The Christmas season is already upon me. It gives me a sense of purpose knowing that these quilts have a definite time line to be returned before. So Ive been in the studio quilting away, putting on bindings, organizing, pretty much anything that doesn't involve my own projects. Its hard to watch them just sit there. But by the time I'm happy with the amount of work quilting stuff I just have no creative juice to do my own stuff.

I worked outside in the yard while Little G was napping this past week. Ive got a lot of the cleanup already finished for the big fall clean. I'm planning on planting some trees in the back corner of the lot here in the next month or so. My two top contenders are Bloodgood Maples or Weeping Willows. The areas that the trees will be planted in are pretty wet most of the time so the willows seem like the best choice, but my heart really wants the maples. We'll see what my wallet wants and that might make the decision for me!

Little G's new favorite activity is spinning around in circles until he is super dizzy and then stumbling into the nearest sharp object. Its funny but not. He always has the biggest grin on his face until he bonks into something and then its traumatic. 3 of his 4 eye teeth have poked through! So one more left and then hopefully we will get a teething break (only 4 more molars left!).

My In laws are coming to stay at the house this next weekend. I know that I could leave my house a giant, disgusting mess and they wouldn't care but I still end up cleaning like the dickens. It feels good to have a super clean house! And it shouldn't be to hard to do all the cleaning since I just did it for my BIL's visit. They like to help out with projects around the house, make good meals, and watch Little G do his thing. It will be a laid back visit that Im looking forward to.

The newest member of my family arrived on the 13th! Ada Elayne was 8 lbs 1oz and healthy and beautiful. Im so proud of my sister and a little bit jealous! Im an Aunt everybody!!!!

Idle Hands are the Devil's Playground

Okay so after my big ol' grumpy post everybody called me to make sure I wasn't slowly going crazy. That truly wasn't my intention, but thanks for checkin on my sanity every body!

To cure my 'blahs' I decided to paint the whole house. Okay well not the whole house. I painted the main areas that we live in. I have wanted to paint them for a long, long time but its so hard to disrupt the regularity of life. I painted the family room, the kitchen, the eat-in area and the hallway. Here's a quick before and after of the family room. I'm still busy putting back together the kitchen area.

I know it doesn't look all that different in the photos but it actually is a huge change. It went from a nasty yellowish beige color to a nice, crisp, clean, light reflecting color called "light raffia". The previous owner used flat paint - Why? You cant really clean flat paint and it deadens any light that comes in. I like to use eggshell. Not too shiny, easily cleanable and reflects a little light. It was a major pain in the butt and I'm glad that it's done for the most part. I'm hiring someone to come paint the stairwell. I'm a good painter and all but I know when to call someone in. Then I will just have a few rooms left to paint and then the whole house will have been repainted!

Of course I had to wait until I knew I would have enough time to do all this painting and I was a little ahead of my work schedule so I dove right in with the painting. I hadn't gotten a quilt in in a long time so I figured I could do it. So I made a giant mess with all this painting jazz. Its like every quilter in the bi-state area knew that I had made a mess of my house and wasn't quilting because I got 10 phone calls and emails in the past 2 days. How do they know? So now I'm putting the house back together so when people come over to drop quilts off, my house doesn't look like a bomb exploded in it. I should know better than to try and do my own stuff.

So remember how I told you I had kept myself busy with some sewing/quilting projects in a previous post? Well here they are. I wanted Skyler to get them before I posted them here so she could be surprised! I made some super cute onesie add-ons (who doesn't love ruffle bottom babies??!!!) some pants (a basic pant and the reversible pants from Anna Maria Horner's Handmade Beginnings - love this book), a fabric book, a quilt (made from Little Apples by Aneela Hoey Charm Packs), and a diaper changing pack! I only used a pattern for the reversible pants! It was so fun! Maybe someday I will have a little girl to sew for - wouldnt that be dreamy?


Im glad that Skyler got the package. She is going into the hospital tonight to start her induction. Apparently we just like to cook our babies a little longer than anyone else. I like to think of it as providing such a good place to be in that they dont wanna leave! Good luck Mom, Dad, and Ada. Your whole world is gonna change!

So this is like the best photo ever I couldnt not share it.

My mom took this photo of Aubry meeting her husband at the airport. Im so proud of both of them. I cried when I saw this photo.

We gave Ditto a bath the other night. He was pretty stAAAAAAnky. Hes easy to bathe and LOVES to be blowdried and brushed. This dog is a wacko.

So there it is. Grumps cured (for now at least ;)). I guess I gotta go work now . . .

This is an Angry Post

Just be forewarned. I'm grumpy today and my post will reflect that.

Today the alarm went off early. 4 AM early, and it wasn't Gavin. That is what time Matt had to get up to start work. As I write this it is 7:45 PM and he still isn't home. It just plain old sucks. I wish that we were back in the regular old Marine Corps world because recruiting is tough. I cant imagine putting the hours into an outside job the way Matt does. It is not a 40 hour work week here. Sometimes its not even an 80 hour week. Rare are the weekend ends where he doesn't go into work. I guess maybe my mind and heart would be eased if he was earning overtime pay, but hes not. He gets paid the same amount as a SSGT who isn't working recruiting hours (aka actually not working on 72 and 96s and regular 8-4 weekday workdays). I hate it. I feel alone a lot. I know hes doing his job and doing it well but I tend to always feel like I play 2nd fiddle here. And its hard to play 2nd fiddle and still be expected to run everything else.

Matt's job is to provide for our family and the Marine Corps has helped us do that. But to be frank with you, that is his only job. Its hard to mow the lawn when you don't get home until 9pm. Its hard to complete a load of laundry when you don't get home until 9pm. Its hard to do anything after you put in an 18 hour day, day after day. So someone has to run the home front. I guess that's me. Most of the time I do it well and with grace, but not today. I don't want to be in charge of everything. I don't. Is that selfish? Maybe, but the load always feels lighter with two sets of hands instead of one. I guess I'm just tired and this is hard. I said this was going to be an "honest" blog - so I'm being honest. Its not always sunshine and roses over here. Yeah, I know Ive got it good and I work really hard, I just wish that I could share it with someone.

As I suspected I'm not completely done with my Invisalign, which leads me to the days most embarrassing moment. First let me tell you that I am terrified of being "that Mom" who brings her child to inappropriate places. Normally Little G is a quiet, sweet, funny, adorable little guy. I go to the dentist once a month for my teeth straightening journey and every time for the past 7 months he has sat in his stroller like a little angel and behaved. Today, not so much. There was screaming and throwing, and screaming, and crying, and screaming. Did I mention screaming? I was so embarrassed. I did my best to to move out of the waiting area so everyone didn't have to listen to him (and so I could avoid the soul piercing stares of people who a) haven't spent anytime with a 1 year old EVER in their life or b) were trying to do their best to make me feel like the stupidest Mom in the world) and even offered to reschedule my appointment. I know when a ship is sinking and I wanted out of there (as did anyone within a mile radius). But no, a quick view in my mouth confirmed a few more weeks of treatment (something my untrained dentist eyes could have told you without this appt) and a "we'll call you when we get a new plan in place". Great. What a waste of time. I sat in the car and cried in the parking lot for awhile before I slunk home with my tail in between my legs. NEVER again will I take him to the dentist. If it weren't for my ongoing treatment there I might even try to find a new dentist. It was that embarrassing.

Another thing that has bugged me today is not being "In The Loop" something everyone in my family will chuckle at. I don't want to call Aubry - her hubby just got home from Afghanistan. I don't want to call Skyler - her baby is past due and doesn't need her sister calling her and bugging her. I cant call Connor. My mom hasn't answered the phone for the past 2 days. I call Matt and it goes straight to Voicemail. Seriously. I have no idea whats going on. I'm sure the world is still turning, I just don't know whats going on. I'm here alone with a screaming baby and sometimes I just want to talk about SOMETHING, ANYTHING with a human being capable of using some form of words. So there it is family - I just wanna be in the loop!

There is so much more I could sit here and type out but that's plenty for today. Probably too much. But its real. Its where I'm at right now. Is life good? Yes. I'm sure if someone needed me I would know. But for now Ill be here - angry and stewing and Lord know what else and Ill be better tomorrow.

I told you I was grumpy.

A Little Bit of This, A little Bit of That

Well here we are.

Things here have been . . . well I guess they have just been. I don't have anything fantastic going on.

I busied myself with a few sewing/quilting projects the last few days. Ill share those later.

I spent a day or so doing some serious cleaning of the areas of the house that we always seem to be in. While I was picking off all the dog hair that seems to gravitate to the chair legs, Gavin hopped under the table to inspect the wheels of his highchair. I guess it was a good thing that I had already cleaned the floor. Although it does look like I missed some crumbs on the high chair.

Anybody else like to make lists when they clean? I don't know what feels better - actually accomplishing and enjoy the things that I have cleaned, or just being able to check it off the list. I think when I'm done with a list of things I'm more proud of the entire list scratched off than the fruits of my labor. Hey, whatever gets it done right?

I cannot tell you how happy I am that the weather has been cooler these last few days near STL. I love opening windows and doors, letting a cool fresh breeze blow through the house. It feels so right and the extra bonus of not having to run the AC is even better!

With the arrival of this cooler weather I put some mums in some pots for the front and back porches. Purple, yellow, and orange. I love fall colors. They make me happy (both mums and fall colors!). I also have spent my precious "alone time" (Little G's nap time) doing some simple yard cleanup. It feels good to get things all tidied up out there before I have to spend all my outside time picking up leaves (ugh - I'm already dreading it).

I made pizza and garlic bread sticks the other night. I left the garlic bread sticks in a minute too long but they still tasted perfect. The pizza disappeared  before I could even take a picture. Yummy! I love making the dough and then letting it rise. There is something so satisfying about watching that process. Its awesome.

I have been very bad about watching what I eat. I've just been eating whatever my little heart desires (and enjoying it) but I think its time I keep I more watchful eye on what goes in my mouth. I still have a few pounds that I'm looking to get rid of (who doesn't right?) so that's been on my mind a lot lately. I keep finding reasons to put it off and I need to knock that crap off and just jump in. There's never going to be a time that's perfect, so I just gotta do it.

I'm waiting with my phone in hand to hear some news about my niece, Ada, whos due date is today. I'm sending good vibes in mommy, daddy, and baby's way. I hope it goes perfect for them. I was 10 days past my due date before they induced me and the waiting was the hardest part.

My BIL Kyle should get home tomorrow from Afghanistan. I'm so proud of the way my sister made it through this deployment. Deployments suck and she did a great job. I know how nervous and anxious she feels right now. I just want everything to be perfect for them, but I know that there is definitely a readjustment period that you have to go through. I wish them all the best.

I braved Walmart today and forgot to get diapers. Crap. Maybe Ill make Matt get them on his way home.

So here I am, just waiting for everybody else's cool stuff to happen. So everybody, please start doing your stuff . . . I'm waiting :) ::drums fingers on table impatiently::

P is for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins **Recipe Included**

As we come to the unofficial end of Summer my heart has started to wander to all things Fall. Fall is near and dear to my heart as it reminds of back to school rituals that I cant wait to share with my own kids. It also reminds me of falling leaves, Halloween, pumpkins, Thanksgiving, warm colors, football and so many other things. So in the spirit of welcoming this wonderful season I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

• Preheat oven to 375
• Mix together:
• 1 cup Butter (room temperature is best)
• 1 3/4 cup Sugar
• Add and mix until well blended
• 4 Eggs (beat them before you put them in the mixer)
• 16 oz can canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix, look for pure pumpkin)
• Sift together and add:
• 3 1/3 cups All Purpose Flour
• 1/4 t Salt
• 1/2 t  Baking Powder
• 2 t Baking Soda
• 2 t Cinnamon
• 1/4 t Nutmeg
• After dry ingredients are mix well add:
• 1 package Chocolate Chips!
• Fill muffin cups about 2/3 full
• Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes
• Makes about 2 1/2 dozen

Yummy! This recipe comes to me (and you) by way of a dear friend and old neighbor Lori Berghorn. I can remember making these muffins in her kitchen some 20 years ago. She gave me this recipe at my bridal shower and it is one that I make often! Thanks Lori!

Want some pictures? Here ya go:

Here's your starting line up.

Cream the butter and sugar.

Remember - PURE pumpkin - NOT pumpkin pie filling. Add this and some eggs.

This scary sight is the first 4 ingredients all mixed together.

Sift all the dry ingredients and add them slowly to the mixer.

Ahh, this looks much more appetizing. After it looks like this add your chocolate chips!

Line your muffin pan. I only had these pastel colored liners, maybe you have something a little more Fall appropriate.

Fill her up about 2/3 of the way full. Two scoops from my cookie dropper works perfectly for this task but spoons do a great job too!

After a quick trip to the oven (22 minutes is perfect for me) you should have something that looks like this!

Only share if you have to. These disappear quick at my place!

Sometimes Poop Happens

I couldn't help but chuckle when I drove by this the other day. Let's discuss it!

1) I understand the frustration of the homeowner who found this pile of poop on their sidewalk. I hate it when someone lets their dog "do their business" in my yard and doesn't pick it up. Its rude and its gross.

2) I also understand what its like to be walking your dog and while hes doing his poopy dance, with terror, realize you don't have a bag to clean it up with. My latest non poop bag moment: I assumed I had a poop bag in my purse and got everybody loaded up to go to Petsmart for Ditto's grooming appointment. While in the parking lot Ditto does his thing. Fine, okay, whatever. I'm holding Little G because I was to lazy to put him in a stroller for this quick trip in and out. So here I am in the parking lot carrying a heavy baby, holding Ditto's leash, digging through my purse for a silly poop bag. I don't find one. Well crap. I go inside drop Ditto off at the groomer, grab a bag from one of their accident stations and return to the pile of poop and then throw it away. Moral of this story is two fold. Never assume you have a poop bag and no matter what you can find a way to pick up your dogs poop.

3)While I do appreciate the humor this sign brought me, maybe the home owner's efforts were misguided. If you had the time to notice the poop, make a sign about the poop, and them place the sign back in the yard, couldn't they have just taken care of the poop themselves? Picking up poop is disgusting but they could have just swept it off the sidewalk and it would have taken way less time.

I guess all I'm saying here is: Sometimes you don't have a bag, and poop happens. This statement can be applied to more than just dog poop.

My latest book finish: "Left Neglected" by Lisa Genova. I really liked this book. It was a quick read that I didn't want to put down. Its about a woman who get into a car accident and has to learn how to do things afterward - well its actually a lot more complex than that but I cant sum it up all nice and tidy without giving away all the best parts. I would recommend this book to anyone. I put another book of hers on my "to read" list: "Still Alice" which deals with Alzheimer's Disease.

Tried of my book finishes? Well then you be glad to know I'm currently reading "Under the Dome" by Stephen King. Not familiar with this book? Well its like 400 million pages long. It weighs like 10 lbs. I'm not joking. Its like reading 3 large encyclopedias at the same time. So I'm 400+ pages in and not even close to halfway. Needless to say you wont have a finished book blurb from me for awhile!

I have been busy in the quilting studio finishing up a t shirt quilt for my cousin. The top is finished and the backing is put together, so it will now wait in line with the rest of my customer quilts! I'm glad to have finished piecing this project. I didn't use a pattern but just let it kind of come together and that was my favorite part of this project. Although there was some math involved in the process that made my head hurt :)

I have also been downstairs working on my own projects some. I got some binding made, a few more rows on my colorbrick quilt, doing a little organizing but mainly I have been working on customer quilts.

I'm looking for my next recipe. I already made it and took all the pictures but I cant find the recipe! I don't know where it went. So if I find it today Ill put that up too!

This next week is going to go super slow - My family has MAJOR things happening this next week. My BIL Kyle is coming home from Afghanistan on the 8th!! AND (as if that's not enough) My baby sister Skyler is due with her first child on the 7th! I know!! Both great, wonderful, life changing things!You know what Ive got going on? Well I have a dentist appointment on the 8th - hmmm not even on the same radar as everybody else stuff!

I'm excited for this 4 day weekend! Well its a 'kinda' 4 day weekend here, seeing that Matt is currently at work as I type. "Day off" I guess is just a suggestion for him. Anyway, he's making dinner tonight and then were are going to plan some fun stuff for the rest of the weekend! Happy long weekend everybody!