If it aint broke . . .

Whats been on my mind lately you ask? Well a little bit of everything, but I guess weight loss has been at the top of the list these last few days. Argh. I really dont want to turn this blog into my weight loss journal but decided that bringing it up every now and again is okay since this is my blog, my life.

Forever and ever I have always felt like the big girl. I'm the largest of my siblings. I was the largest in my circle of friends in high school and in college. Heck, Im bigger than my hubby (but Im also taller so somethings gotta give there). Ive been really big and not so big and everything in between. I have pants in my closet that are size 6 and size 18 and at one point in time I fit into each one. Up and down. Back and forth. I struggle with it.

Im workin on shedding some extra pounds. Its tough. I LOVE food. LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I want more please. That tastes good. It smells good. I enjoy making it, baking it and taking it! Food? Yes please, sign me up.

I crush my feelings with food. Its always there waiting for me with open arms, filling some "void". I say "void" because most of the time its not really a void. I eat, eat, eat and then I feel guilty. I feel guilty and then I eat. Its the circle of my life.

Today I will do my best to not assign feelings of guilt with food.

Whats your point? you say. Well here it is...

I am going to stop trying to fix myself.

I am me. This is what it is. I will do things that uplift ME. I will set goals to make ME a better ME. I have all the tools and I will choose to use them.

What does all this have to do with weight loss?

I just want to be happy where Im at for that day. Today is now and tomorrow is later and yesterday is gone. Live in the now. I dont want to use the past as an excuse anymore. I dont want to dream so far into the future that I cant see whats in front of me right now. And whats in front of me right now is beautiful and healthy and doesnt need fixing.

What would your life be like if you tried to stop fixing yourself? I dont know, but Im sure gonna try!